So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Boobs speak an international language.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
my poor anus
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
