And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
