Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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