is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
