i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
