this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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