You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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