She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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