census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
