I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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