When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
