Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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