we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
