i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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