So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i out mim tonsoeep
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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