I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
