i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
