i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
