Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
