i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
