Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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