What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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