he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
