We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
