WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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