Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
