super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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