I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
