Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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