i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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