is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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