you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
