we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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