I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
