but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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