just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
