At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
