she was so not down for the gang bang
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
