Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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