I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm passing your future prison.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We don't watch enough power rangers
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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