Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do vagina's smell?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
