i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
