I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
