I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
