In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
