is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
