Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
