Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
