Where is the hickey?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
