I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
