i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im having a threesome with these popsicles
nutella sex= disaster
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
